


A Mistake

by babel



Category: Blake's 7
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-12-27
Updated: 2010-12-27
Packaged: 2017-10-14 03:57:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,928
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/145081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/babel/pseuds/babel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Horizon, Jenna makes a mistake with Blake that she's not sure she can reverse.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Mistake

Her first thought upon waking up: _That was a mistake._

_________________

The night before, Jenna found Blake in the corridor, leaning against the wall. He was exhausted--they all were, after Horizon--but she hadn’t seen him in the Rest Room earlier.

"Have you slept at all?" she asked bluntly.

Startled, he straightened. He was too exhausted to even hide that she'd caught him off guard. "The Federation doesn't stop because I need sleep."

"It's a good thing that you have the rest of us then," she said flatly.

His eyes went from blank to earnest concern with unnatural ease. "Are _you_ better?"

"Better than you are, I imagine. It's not as if I haven't undergone torture before."

That didn't seem to cure him of his concern. He rested a hand on her arm. "Jenna..."

"Gan went through worse. Perhaps you should go give _him_ a hug; _I'm_ fine." She paused as he withdrew his hand. "Or, better yet, get to your cabin and sleep for a few hours before you pass out here in the corridor."

"I will after I take care of some--"

"No," she stated. "Come on." She took his arm this time, and he let her lead him toward his cabin without another word. She found herself scanning the area for any sign of the others as they went. It was ridiculous. What did she care if someone caught them walking together? But she did.

"All right," she said, stopping in front of his door and letting his arm loose.

Blake gave her a muted smile. "You do realize that I'll leave to do what I was planning on doing as soon as you're gone?"

"You're worse than a toddler. At least a toddler can't break free of his own crib."

"Perhaps I just need a bedtime story."

Jenna arched an eyebrow. After a moment's consideration, she nodded. "Right. I'll stay with you until you're asleep."

Blake laughed at her, his eyes disbelieving. "Pardon?"

She held his gaze evenly and pushed open his door, tilting her head for him to enter.

"It doesn't seem I have a choice," Blake said. When she didn't answer, he shook his head and went in.

She waited until her heart had calmed before she followed him.

"This is ridiculous, you realize." Blake was sitting on the edge of his bed, pulling off his boots.

Jenna leaned against the wall next to the door. "A grown man unwilling to sleep when he clearly needs it? Yes, I do realize."

"You never struck me as the nurturing sort before."

She scoffed. "Do I now?"

"Possibly." He set his boots aside and looked at her. His voice was more sober when he spoke again. "I shouldn't have taken you down there."

"Why not?" she asked a bit more sharply than she'd meant to.

"You told me you weren't feeling well."

"None of us were."

He sighed, leaning back. "Could you simply accept an apology?"

"You're not making one." She crossed her arms. "And if you were, I would likely throw something at you for treating me like a little girl who can't take care of herself. I've never heard you voice your regrets about taking Avon or Vila when they aren't feeling well."

Blake held her gaze for a moment, then turned his attention down to his shirt as he began to unfasten the buttons. "That isn't what I meant," he said. "I don't listen to Avon and Vila because they _always_ argue. You don't. I should have listened."

"Yes. The question is: Will you listen the next time you get some mad plan into your head?"

He smiled, but he didn't look up. "Maybe not."

"Then why play at apologizing?"

"I don't know." He pulled off his shirt and tossed it aside. "Perhaps it's easier to apologize than keep promises."

"You don't seem particularly good at either," she said, suppressing a wry smile.

Blake looked at her thoughtfully, then stood to unfasten his belt. She didn't look away as he stripped down to his shorts. It should have seemed strange to her, but she'd lived with him longer than she'd lived with anyone since she left home.

Not that it was like watching a brother either.

"There are times I think Avon's right when he rails against you," she said into the silence.

Blake stood with his hands on his hips, looking no more vulnerable for being in nothing but his shorts. "Yes, me too."

"That doesn't mean I'd leave you." She pressed her lips together to avoid laughing at his serious expression paired with his state of undress. "I doubt he would either, for all his talk. I don't know how you do it."

"I have a way with people," he said with a shrug.

"Simple as that, is it?"

"I didn't say it was simple." He glanced down at his bed, then back at her. "I promise, I won't crawl out of my crib until I've had at least four hours. You don't have to stand there and watch."

She scoffed. "What was that you said? Apologies are easier than promises?"

"I can make the occasional exception."

"I'm not leaving until I hear you snore."

Blake watched her, as if to be sure she wouldn't give in, then he sat on his bed again with a heavy sigh. After a moment, he asked in a quiet voice, "Did you mean what you said? About not leaving?"

"Yes," Jenna said immediately. She wet her lips, considering. "Gan and Cally as good as idolize you. Vila will stay anywhere he feels he belongs. Avon could've left today, and he didn't."

"I was asking _you_?"

His eyes were intense enough that she wanted to look away, but she pushed herself up off the wall and walked toward him instead. "I told you I wouldn't. Isn't that enough?" She paused while she was still a safe distance away from him. "Lie down, Blake. I don't plan on staying here all night."

"It might not be enough."

"Would anything?" she asked.

Blake's hands were balled into fists, as if he was trying to hold onto consciousness, and the shadows under his eyes looked twice as dark as they had when she'd found him in the corridor. Still, he didn't look away, and neither did she.

"Why did you follow me in here, Jenna?"

"You need to sleep before you send us headlong into any more danger."

He furrowed his brow. She hadn't expected he'd accept that as an answer.

"You wanted me to," she said. He stood again, and her throat suddenly felt too dry. "And I wanted to, perhaps."

He didn't answer. He barely seemed to be listening. Those dark, intent eyes were fixed on her, and she'd seen that expression before. Usually before a mission, or staring out at the stars, or talking about the Federation. It was unnerving to have that intensity directed at her, but she did not back away. She let him grasp the back of her head and press his lips against hers. The day's growth of beard ground into her skin like rusted metal.

When he drew away, her heart was beating hard enough to make her dizzy, but she kept her steady gaze locked on him. "Would that make you believe me, Blake?"

He furrowed his brow. "I'm not asking you to prove your loyalty."

"Aren't you?"

They stood close, his hand in her hair, not moving. She thought about simply letting it happen, letting herself have what she wanted whether she questioned his intentions or not. But she stayed still until, finally, Blake backed away from her.

"You're right," he said stiffly. "It would have been a mistake. You don't deserve to be treated that way, whether I meant it or not."

"No, I don't." She wet her lips. "Lie down, Blake."

There was a question in his eyes as he retreated to his bed again. One she didn't know how to answer yet. She watched him stretch out on his back. She watched him close his eyes.

It was a sign of trust, and she recognized it. She thought about kissing him then. He seemed to want it, and maybe she did too.

She turned away and headed for the door.

Before she left, he spoke just loud enough for her to hear, "I'm sorry."

"Go to sleep, Blake," she said.

_________________

Her first thought upon waking up: _That was a mistake._

Jenna opened her eyes to an empty bed with a quiet, insidious loneliness crawling up her spine, nesting in her chest. Last night it had seemed simple. Blake was like every other man she'd ever worked with. He wanted her loyalty, and he thought there was only one way to get it.

Now that it was morning, it didn't seem so clear anymore. Blake had a lot of faults, and manipulation was one of them, but had he ever shown any sign that he would manipulate her _that_ way?

Hadn't he proven again and again that he _wouldn't_?

Pushing the thought out of her mind, she got out of bed and settled herself into comfortable routine. Get clean, get dressed, get to the flight deck for her watch. Sit at her station, getting mundane reports from Zen every half hour, whether there was anything to report or not.

And wait.

She didn't realize she was waiting until Blake appeared from the corridor. He only glanced at her before he went to the couch to sit.

"You look well-rested," Jenna said.

The ship noise sounded louder in her ears than her own words, but she saw Blake's lips twitch when she spoke. "I'm glad I look it, anyway."

He leaned his head back to look at her, and she fixed her eyes on the viewscreen.

"All right, Jenna?"

"No," she said. She should've said yes, but she couldn't manage the lie. She forced herself to look at him, at those clear, focused eyes. "But I'm working at it."

He smiled, but only with his lips. "I don't suppose you want any help."

"Probably not," she said, returning the smile.

She returned to work, and let him do the same. She listened to him, his familiar muttering along with the clicking of buttons. Further away, she could hear Vila's voice drifting down the corridor as he pestered Avon while they performed some tests on the teleporter. She imagined Gan was still in the Rest Room, and Cally was either with him or sleeping in her cabin.

There was something comfortable about it. Something safe. Whether or not they had the entire Federation on their tail, she felt safe here.

No matter how hard she tried to convince herself she didn't.

"I'm sorry too," she said, drawing Blake's attention back. "Trusting isn't easy."

"If it were, it would hardly mean anything."

Jenna couldn't help but laugh, despite the tension in her shoulders. "A bit less intimidating too."

"You, intimidated?" Blake's eyes sparkled. "I can hardly imagine."

"Right," she said flatly.

Blake chuckled, but it quickly died down. "I won't push you."

"I know," Jenna said. She shook her head, amazed at her own answer. Or, perhaps only amazed that it was true.

"Good."

She looked out at the viewscreen again with a smile she couldn't quite control. If she stared out long enough, maybe she could understand whatever it was out there that made Blake look at those stars the way he looked at her.

It was a mistake, but the more she stared, the more she felt her walls begin to slip away.


End file.
